Today... Optimistic Mode

Ahh, today is a good day.

So far, I've slept in till 8, chatted with Someone for an hour, and eaten a orange frosted cinnamon roll. My uncle and aunt are here, and I'm wearing my favorite red lumberjack shirt and a jingle-bell around my neck. We'll probably get to go play with our kitties, and maybe have a photoshoot with them and my aunt's awesome camera.

It's Christmastime, and I suppose I have the "Christmas Spirit", but honestly, I would much rather it be summer. I love summer. Yet I love giving. And I suppose Christmastime is giving time.

I'm still nervous about a couple things. I am confused, and I need some answers.

But I'm confident it's going to all work out because I have so many people on my side.. and even if I had just one person loving me, that would be sufficient.

What I say is, Do what you love, Be with who you love, Be honest with yourself and your loved ones, and Don't waste time.

Stars

Why do the most horrible things always come unexpectedly?

Sitting on my hands in the car last night, I felt totally emotionless. Like the sky after a torrent of rain, I felt colorless and bleak.

Resting my face against the cold glass, I looked upward. The sky was filled with stars, more than I could possibly take in in a single glance. Somehow they made me feel better, the trauma of recent events growing insignificant in comparison to this vastness.

Suddenly the stars were my friends, always there for me, even when I can't see them. They seemed to be up there waiting to see what I would do next, assuring me that they would be cheering me on. They understood why I felt the way I did, and though they couldn't say a word, it felt good that they had seen it all.

Then I had another thought. Surely for every shining star I saw, a person stood somewhere in their grief, looking heavenward. Certainly their troubles outweigh mine a million to one. I felt connected to those people.

Focusing on one especially brilliant star, I wanted to believe that someone else was actually looking at it too, and at this same moment, was wishing for me!

Life Lesson in the Rain (6:42 PM on December 08, 2009)

I learned something about life today. It can be cold and wet. But it can also be warm and sweet.

The ground squished beneath my tennis shoes and I stepped on my pants legs. Cold water splashed across my face, and my red flannel shirt blew away from my body. My legs kept moving, and I couldn't help panting, my face was all wet, and I thought I was cold...

Then all of a sudden I realized something strange. I was warm.

I felt totally comfortable and my heart felt so warm. I don't understand it, but I like it.

I think it's all about attitude.

It dawned on me when I found my kitties sitting on top of the radio-player in the garage. Being miserable is a decision! And every day that I spend miserable is just as much a part of who I am as the days when I'm at my happiest.

Every day I live is a part of me!

Tough? (6:15 PM on December 08, 2009)

What does it mean to be tough? Is it to be mean, and harsh? Insenstive and brazen?

No..

Tough= ultimately patient. "Tough" can take insults to itself and not get all excited. But "tough" will stand up to defend the important things-- matters of honor, unjust accusations, etc. "Tough" is noble and firm, but kind. "Tough" is the essence of unselfishness. "Tough" is never a showoff, because "tough" is very secure and self-confident. "Tough" won't try to be different, for difference sake alone, but only if 'fitting in' would demean in any way. "Tough" is honest to a fault. "Tough" is a meek and quiet spirit. "Tough" can bear all things because "tough" has inner peace.

So toughen up!

What do you think...: Why do they say, "Tough love?"