I don't know??

Honestly, today so far has been pretty awful. Nothing went the way it was supposed to... well, nothing important anyways.
I got up early for my driver's ed class (which is at 10) because I have to go with my mom early to drop Rachel off at work, and then stay with my mom at whatever 'work' she's doing today, and then at 10 she takes me to Driver's ed. So I have to get up early. Well it isn't actually THAT early, but it feels early to me............. Ok, okay, so it's only 7:00 am. But I honestly have trouble getting my eyes open. I guess because we stayed up late. But it was worth it in this instance. We went to MoMo's Cafe... :) Full service supper, live music, WiFi, good friends, etc.... actually we just went to Moses' apartment but it was fun:)

Anyways that was yesterday.
This is today.

So I got up. It had snowed. Big deal. Just an inch or so.... Okay, 3 inches or so... no big deal! I barely got out the door in time, Rachel yelling the countdown every minute or so... "3 minutes till we have to leave!!" Well that makes me panic all the more. So I didn't have time to dry or brush my long thick hair ;) from my shower.... so it was still damp. You probably didn't care about that I'm just talkin'....

But other than my hair, I felt good about myself and rarin' to go start this amazing new day!! So I grap some batteries for my [awesome!!] Canon, and get out the door. Whew!

Then we're driving to the Call Center where Rachel works, and it dawns on someone.... (rachel?).. that the highschool where i go for Driver's ed might be closed due to snow. I was like, yeah right...

Aaaaaand..... she was right. :(

WHY ARE THEY CLOSED??? This is so stupid. The more snow days we take, the longer the class will extend!
And I am NOT missing out on this Missouri trip. I'm going, okay??

So today my mom is working at Manna, so I have to hang out here ALL DAY. Okay just till 1:00 but that's a major portion of my day!!! I'm trying to chill about that.... [i don't care, i don't care, i don't care]

I was sitting there at the back booth feeling so lonely, trying to do my English, but that is just so hopeless... I mean seriously?? So I tried to go to sleep on my arms on the table in front of me, but that was hopeless as well, since my arms, shoulders, sides, hips, and basically everything in that area have really sore muscles from hulahooping all day yesterday and the day before! Good exercise though, and my record is 6 minutes 40 seconds. I'll probably beat that today, ;)

Wow... so where were we....?
Oh yes.
Definitely not going to sleep.
Besides, who sleeps at 9:00am??
Soooo... I get my camera and go outside to take pictures of all the wonderful snow. =) I get out there and five minutes later I'm thinking, are you insane? It's bitterly frigidly out here!! So I went back inside with tears in my eyes, sniffles, and feet caked with snow....

Then like 10 minutes later I was like, are you insane?? What are you doing inside with nothing to do when there so much potential for great photographs (plus fresh air) outside!! So.....
[reread previous paragraph]

Yeah.. it's pretty cold.
So I get on the computer (which isn't a nice computer, btw) and get on facebook, gmail, and whatnot... I don't have any notifications, I don't have any emails, nobody's online to chat with, BUT
I have a poke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay. ^_^
Anyways....................................................

You're probably bored sick hearing about my sick bored day.
I'm done.
I just want you to know that I'm still insanely happy.. :D

There's always hope something amazingly fantastical & happy might happen today. It's only 11:54.

Over and out.
<3

Today... Optimistic Mode

Ahh, today is a good day.

So far, I've slept in till 8, chatted with Someone for an hour, and eaten a orange frosted cinnamon roll. My uncle and aunt are here, and I'm wearing my favorite red lumberjack shirt and a jingle-bell around my neck. We'll probably get to go play with our kitties, and maybe have a photoshoot with them and my aunt's awesome camera.

It's Christmastime, and I suppose I have the "Christmas Spirit", but honestly, I would much rather it be summer. I love summer. Yet I love giving. And I suppose Christmastime is giving time.

I'm still nervous about a couple things. I am confused, and I need some answers.

But I'm confident it's going to all work out because I have so many people on my side.. and even if I had just one person loving me, that would be sufficient.

What I say is, Do what you love, Be with who you love, Be honest with yourself and your loved ones, and Don't waste time.

Stars

Why do the most horrible things always come unexpectedly?

Sitting on my hands in the car last night, I felt totally emotionless. Like the sky after a torrent of rain, I felt colorless and bleak.

Resting my face against the cold glass, I looked upward. The sky was filled with stars, more than I could possibly take in in a single glance. Somehow they made me feel better, the trauma of recent events growing insignificant in comparison to this vastness.

Suddenly the stars were my friends, always there for me, even when I can't see them. They seemed to be up there waiting to see what I would do next, assuring me that they would be cheering me on. They understood why I felt the way I did, and though they couldn't say a word, it felt good that they had seen it all.

Then I had another thought. Surely for every shining star I saw, a person stood somewhere in their grief, looking heavenward. Certainly their troubles outweigh mine a million to one. I felt connected to those people.

Focusing on one especially brilliant star, I wanted to believe that someone else was actually looking at it too, and at this same moment, was wishing for me!

Life Lesson in the Rain (6:42 PM on December 08, 2009)

I learned something about life today. It can be cold and wet. But it can also be warm and sweet.

The ground squished beneath my tennis shoes and I stepped on my pants legs. Cold water splashed across my face, and my red flannel shirt blew away from my body. My legs kept moving, and I couldn't help panting, my face was all wet, and I thought I was cold...

Then all of a sudden I realized something strange. I was warm.

I felt totally comfortable and my heart felt so warm. I don't understand it, but I like it.

I think it's all about attitude.

It dawned on me when I found my kitties sitting on top of the radio-player in the garage. Being miserable is a decision! And every day that I spend miserable is just as much a part of who I am as the days when I'm at my happiest.

Every day I live is a part of me!

Tough? (6:15 PM on December 08, 2009)

What does it mean to be tough? Is it to be mean, and harsh? Insenstive and brazen?

No..

Tough= ultimately patient. "Tough" can take insults to itself and not get all excited. But "tough" will stand up to defend the important things-- matters of honor, unjust accusations, etc. "Tough" is noble and firm, but kind. "Tough" is the essence of unselfishness. "Tough" is never a showoff, because "tough" is very secure and self-confident. "Tough" won't try to be different, for difference sake alone, but only if 'fitting in' would demean in any way. "Tough" is honest to a fault. "Tough" is a meek and quiet spirit. "Tough" can bear all things because "tough" has inner peace.

So toughen up!

What do you think...: Why do they say, "Tough love?"